Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking

  What a grand world this would be

  If the men were all transported

  Far beyond the Northern Sea

  Oh, my goodness gracious Rachel

  What a strange world this would be

  If the men were all transported

  Far beyond the Northern Sea

  Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking

  What a great life girls would lead

  If they had no men about them

  None to tease them, none to heed

  Rachel, Rachel, I've been thinking

  Men would have a merry time

  If at once they were transported

  Far beyond the salty brine

  Reuben, Rueben, stop your teasing

  If you've any love for me

  I was only just a-fooling

  As I thought, of course, you'll see

  Rachel, if you'll not transport me

  I will take you for my wife

  And I'll split with you my money

  Every payday of my life

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